


Alpha Gerbil

by Kca1516



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Crack, Derek gets turned into a gerbil, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pack Mother Stiles Stilinski, True Love Conquers All, stiles is done with everybodies shit, two sex jokes and thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 06:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14970755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kca1516/pseuds/Kca1516
Summary: Derek gets turned into a gerbil. Stiles looses his shit.Yes I know how stupid this is, no i don’t have an excuse for writing it hope you enjoy anyway





	Alpha Gerbil

**Author's Note:**

> This is simultaneously the worst and best thing I have ever put ln the internet I hope you all appreciate what this is takong out of me

  
"What. The. Fuck," were the first words to come out of Stiles’s mouth.   
  
The second words were,"Why does it always have to be  _ my _ boyfriend."    
  
He then continued to groan while running his hand over his face.   
Standing in front of him, at one thirty in the morning, was a guilty looking Scott and Isaac...with a three inch, multicolored gerbil sitting on Derek's six hundred dollar mattress.   
  
"Sooooo...how's that essay coming?" Scott started to say, running his hand through his hair awkwardly.   
Stiles gave him an unimpressed look, and he shut right the hell up.   
  


"What happened," he demanded.   
  
"Well....promise not to be mad?" Isaac said, looking like a child who was about to be reprimanded by his mother.   
Stiles reluctantly nodded, already knowing that this was going to be bad.   
  
"Derek got a call from Deaton probably two hours ago saying that there was a witch in town who kept turning people into animals. He asked Derek if he could check it out, you know try to reason with her. But, for backup he asked us if we could come too. Just in case things got messy-"   
  
"Hold on," Stiles cut Isaac off, "No one bothered to tell me this? You know it's a rule that you let me know when you guys leave on supernatural business. Why the hell wasn't calling me your first thing on the "to-do" list? You could have been killed and no one would have known were you went!"   
  
"You promised not to be mad!" Isaac whined, sounding more and more like a petulant five year old.   
Stiles rolled his eyes, but contained his annoyance. He knew it would only drag the entire event out otherwise.

"Why didn't you tell me what was happening?" The eighteen year old tried again, attempting to keep the anger out of his voice.

  
"Derek didn't want to wake you," Scott said simply,"he said that you had been having trouble sleeping, and that he didn't want to bother you with something as trivial as a witch."   
  
Stiles heart ached a bit at the words. Derek was always trying to take care of him, protect him. He knew Stiles had been having nightmares (seeing as Derek was always the one to calm him down when he woke up) and just wanted him to get a good night's sleep for once.    
  


"What happened next," Stiles said, the ice in his tone melting.

  
"Well, we don't exactly know. Derek left us in the car once we got to the adress Deaton gave us. About ten minutes after he went in, there was a flash of green light. We ran in, prepared for a fight, but the only thing we found was a pile of Derek's clothes...and a gerbil on top," Scott finished lamely.   
Stiles rolled his eyes, wondering how this became his life. It didn't even surprise him that the tiny animal on the bed was his boyfriend. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and he’d bet money it wouldn’t be the last.   
  
Stiles walked up to the bed, and bent down so he was noise to noise with Derek the gerbil- or better yet Alpha Gerbil.

  
"You are so lucky you have me," Stiles told him, staring into beady black eyes. If the boy was being honest, there was a touch of guilt on that gerbil’s face. But, that was a bit too much to process, even for him.

“I’m expecting something in return once I find the spell to change you back...maybe something we’ve talked about but never put into action. Like bondage," Stiles said with a smirk, knowing Isaac and Scott could hear him. Payback was a bitch.

  
"My poor virgin ears," Isaac whined. Scott was blushing all the way down to his toes.

  
Stiles scoffed, "Oh please, you act like I don't know you and Scott have been fucking for the past month." He turned his head just in time to see both their eyes go comically wide. But, before the two could try their futile attempts at denying the accusation, Stiles turned back to Derek. He scooped the little creature up into the palms of his hands.   
  
"Alright, let's figure out a way to change you back," Stiles murmured, kissing his boyfriend on his rodent nose.   
  


As if those were the magic words, Derek started growing in his hands. Inch by inch he was getting taller, and his little snout started to resemble more of a human mouth.   
Stiles dropped Derek onto the ground, not realizing what was happening, only knowing his boyfriend was getting too heavy to hold in his hands any longer.   
Soon, Derek's little paws turned into defined legs, and the fur on his back receded to show muscular shoulders. Right before their eyes, the three boys watched their Alpha turn back into his human form....correction his  _ naked _ human form.   
  
"Wow, that is way more Derek Hale then I ever wanted to see," said Isaac covering his eyes.    
"Oh my god no amount of therapy is going to erase that image from my mind," Scott moaned.   
  
Meanwhile, Stiles was immediately on the ground next to Derek, rubbing his back. Trying to sooth him as the last of the transformation finished taking place.   
  
"Hey big guy," Stiles said carefully, grabbing a blanket off the bed to put over his boyfriend’s shaking body, "What can I do to help?" He asked. 

It wasn't the first time Derek had been changed into something other then himself (fucking witches) and Stiles knew that the change was painful. Derek had different symptoms each time it happened. 

“Get the garbage," the werewolf choked out. Stiles ran to the other side of the room, grabbing the bucket just in time for Derek to be sick in it.   
As Derek vomited his guts out, Stiles ran his fingers through the other’s hair, staying right by his boyfriend’s side the entire time. Nothing could have made Stiles leave Derek like this. Even though others puke made _him_ want to puke, he stayed. Maybe that was what love was. Stiles smiled.    
  
"You can leave guys, I got it from here," Stiles called to Scott and Isaac as the last of the vomit was finishing up. When he got no answer he turned around to find both of the boys gone. Stiles rolled his eyes,"Wimps," he muttered.   
  
Finally Derek's head emerged from the trash, and he looked blearily at Stiles. His dark eyes were red with moisture, and there was a little bit of vomit drying on his chin. But, the only thought in Stiles’s mind was of how glad he was that Derek was ok.    
Derek smiled softly at his boyfriend, knowing how lucky he was to have Stiles.

  
"Hey sourwolf, what happened this time?" Stiles asked with a pitiful smile.   
Derek coughed once, and knowing Stiles had already been informed about most of the night, skipped ahead to the part he knew Stiles wanted to hear the most.   
  
"Well... I went into the abandoned basement, the one Deaton told me to go to. There was this girl in there, chanting over a pile of tiny, animal bones. It seemed like she was performing a ritual. Knowing this was the witch, I asked her to stop cursing people and to leave Beacon Hills in peace. She said she would only do so if I had sex with her. Needless to say, I refused. When she asked why, I said because I was in love with someone else. She was outraged. No one had ever turned her down apparently. She cursed me, telling me the only way I would change back was if someone who truly loved me kissed me. When you kissed me on the nose I guess it reversed the spell," he said still shivering from the aftershocks of the transformation.   
Stiles sat cross legged next to him, silent for a moment, before bursting out in laughter.   
  
Derek growled at the boy, who was in hysterics on the floor.

“It's not funny," he whined.

Stiles tampered down his laughing for a moment, enough to say, "That sounds like a bad Disney movie," and then he was back to laughing.   
Derek knelt, looking akin to an angry puppy...which he kind of was.   
Stiles finally calmed his laughter into a silent giggle, not wanting to push Derek too far.   
Looking at the werewolve’s agitated face, Stiles stood up, forcing Derek up too so he could put him to bed.

(Yes, he was still naked, but Stiles was very accustomed to Derek's genitals and didn't find it to be a problem)    


Sitting down next to Derek, Stiles pulled his boyfriend’s head onto his lap and started to trace the lines of his face. Derek immediately relaxed, and snuggled farther into Stiles crotch (werewolves, what can you do).   
  


"Better?" Stiles asked. Derek only nodded in reply. Stiles shook his head, chuckling.   
  


"Love you sourwolf," he said fondly.   
  


"Love you too," Derek grumbled happily.


End file.
